She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she pinky promised me she was 18
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize