Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
