Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
