You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
