I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
