stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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