If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
