Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
