It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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