I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
