Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize