ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
