ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
