take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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