I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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