The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
