Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
