oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
