I got chris browned last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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