you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
