i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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