my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
