you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
