I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
