Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
