you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
