Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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