real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
