I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
