there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
