Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
