are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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