your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
