Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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