That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
