It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
