haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
