We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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