i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
