If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
