Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
