your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
