Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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