did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
