I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
