Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
