Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dicks are not precious.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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