And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
