I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
