I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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