is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
