People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
