I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There's always time for handjobs
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
