Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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