we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
